Briar Plum
by Immorura
Summary: I've done Snow white, I've done Cinderella, I've done Blue Beard and now I've done Sleeping Beauty. Just a short and sweet fairy tale based one-shot when the plot would not leave my head, it also stars Diesel for the first time in my stories.


Stephanie didn't know whether it was because she was used to Diesel poofing into her kitchen every now and again, but never the less it didn't surprise her when he appeared behind her refrigerator door.

"Hey Honey," He greeted her with the same cocky smile. He eyed the oversized Jersey shirt she had worn to bed as he helped himself to a pop-tart. " _Looking good._ "

He hadn't changed at all. Sandy blond hair, warm brown eyes, 2 day stubble and Californian dress sense: faded jeans, a beer branded t-shirt and black biker boots.

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "What do you want now, Diesel?"

"I don't want anything." He took a chunk out of the pop-tart as he closed the refrigerator door. He swallowed. "I came here to warn you."

 _Uh oh…_

"Warn me?" Stephanie repeated. "What about?"

Diesel finished the rest of the pop-tart before leaning against the kitchen counter. "Do you remember an FTA you brought in the other week? A woman called Millicent Spindle-Myer?"

Stephanie thought for a moment before speaking. "Yeah…What about her?"

He sucked through his teeth. "Do you remember what she was arrested for?"

"It's hard to forget," She nodded. "She was charged with assault. According to her, her neighbour called her a couple of names when she was on her way to the dump to get rid of an old spinning wheel. She threw it at him in retaliation and cracked a couple of his ribs. She's surprisingly strong for her age; I had to stun gun her just snap the cuffs on."

"I know you already know this," Diesel grimaced. "But Millicent holds grudges. She's not exactly what she appears to be either."

"Why?" Stephanie asked. "Is she 20 years older than she really is?"

"More like _200 years older._ " He grinned. "She's, what we with special abilities refer to as, _a Weird-Sister._ "

Stephanie's mouth fell open. She stared at him in disbelief. " _A Weird-Sister?_ Isn't that another name for a _witch?_ "

He nodded. "I guess the spinning wheel gave it away."

"But…but she looks nothing like a witch! She's… _normal_ looking. She doesn't have green skin or…or…a pointed nose and chin…."

"Honey," Diesel said "I'm _normal looking_ but I'm _not_ normal either."

"You can say that again…"

He almost smiled at that as he took her left hand and held it so her palm faced upwards. He placed a finger over her middle finger and held it there for a moment.

"What are you doing?" Stephanie asked with a raised eyebrow.

Diesel didn't answer her straight away. He let go of her hand and did the same to the other before looking her in the eye. "How well do you know the story of _Briar Rose,_ or _Sleeping Beauty_ as it's commonly known as? _"_

"I've seen the Disney movie." She shrugged.

"Close enough. You know that a witch casts a spell on a princess. The princess pricks her finger on a spinning wheel and falls asleep for 100 years. Handsome prince comes along, kisses the princess and she wakes up. Everybody is happy, the end."

"So is she hoping that I will prick my finger on her spinning wheel?"

He didn't smile. "She got rid of it, Stephanie. Millicent has placed- for lack of a better word- a spell on you. I can feel its energy buzzing through you from your middle finger."

She furrowed her eyebrows together and narrowed her eyes. "You're kidding me."

Diesel rolled his eyes and tutted. "Steph, since I met you, we've hunted down Santa Clause, assisted a lady playing Cupid and went to Atlantic City with a leprechaun. Why would I kid about a spellcasting witch?"

Stephanie supressed the urge to gulp. "Okay, what does that mean?"

"It means if you prick your forefinger on _anything_ ; _a toothpick, a rose, a porcupine,_ you'll fall into a deep sleep."

"… _For 100 years?_ "

Diesel shook his head in doubt. "I don't know how long for, but the point is you'll starve to death or waste away."

A sense of panic crept up her spine like an icy finger. She had been near Death's door an alarming amount of times during her career as a bounty hunter, but no matter how peaceful the thought of dying in her sleep sounded the concept of it still spooked her.

"If I do fall asleep _,_ is there anyway of _breaking the spell?_ "

Diesel stared at her blankly. "Do I have to get you a book of fairy tales?"

Stephanie blinked at him. "Oh…right…so… _true love's kiss_ will wake me up again?"

He nodded slowly. "But it's not just any kind of love; not a maternal, paternal or from a close friend. The kiss has to be from someone who _truly_ loves you; particularly someone who has proven their love for you. Someone who would do anything for you; move heaven and earth, walk to Hell and back, _die for you_ even."

"So that won't be you then, I take it."

He grinned at her. "I like you, Steph, but you're not my type."

"Ditto."

" _Anyway,_ can you think of anyone who might be able to step in?"

Stephanie switched her eyes to a lone fridge magnet, pressing her lips together. She thought for a heartbeat before shaking her head. "No."

"What about the cop? Aren't you two still seeing each other?"

"We broke up- _again_ –and I think it's permanent this time."

"What happened?" Diesel asked gently. "I thought you two made up straight after breaking up."

"Nope, not this time." Stephanie sighed. "We both wanted different things."

"Like what?"

She looked at him again. "He wanted to get married and have me pop out babies."

Diesel grimaced. "And what did you want?"

"For him to go to hell." She shook her head. "So if I do fall asleep, it looks like I'm screwed."

He placed his hands on her shoulders and gave her a hard stare. " _Can you think of anyone else?"_

Stephanie cringed away from him. "No…"

His jaw tightened. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I am." She felt a light bulb appear above her head. "Hang on…that love expert we helped before Valentine's Day last year, Annie Hart? Won't she know who my true love is?"

Diesel let out a sigh. "Yes, she would, but I don't know where the hell she is. The last I heard from her she set off on a worldwide journey helping the love sick."

" _Damn_. How long will the spell last?"

"I don't know. A week, a year, _a lifetime._ I can't tell you. The best I can do is talk to Millicent and convince her to undo it. I think she'll calm down after her court date, but until then, be careful."

"What's with you?" Lula asked when Stephanie stepped into the bonds office. "You look like you went to get a Boston cream but then saw that they were all out."

"It's not that. I already had four on the way here." Stephanie said, placing the doughnut box on Connie's desk. "Diesel appeared in my kitchen this morning."

Lula threw up her hands and shook her head. "Say no more! Whenever that scruffy hunk appears it ain't good news…well for you anyway."

She picked up the first doughnut she touched and took a chunk out of it. Purple jelly dribbled out of the pastry and dropped on her neon green spandex tank top. "So what's happening this time?"

"Remember that FTA we picked up the other day, Millicent Spindle-Meyer?"

Lula raised an eyebrow. "You mean that freaky haired bitch you had to stun gun?"

"Yep, that's her. Apparently, she's a witch and she placed a spell on me."

"…What kind of spell?"

"Do you know the story of Sleeping Beauty?"

"I've seen the Disney movie." Lula shrugged.

"Well, if I prick my finger, I'll fall asleep."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"And if I'm not kissed by my true love, I'll never wake up and starve to death."

"That does sound bad."

Stephanie nodded. "The sad thing is that I don't know who my true love is. Until Diesel talks to Millicent, I've got to be careful."

"You could wear leather gloves. That'll help."

"In the middle of July? Won't that raise a few questions?"

"Just say you've got a skin condition you wanna hide or that you've got a thing about dirt."

She stared at her. "I'd rather know who my true love is."

"I would too." Lula agreed, scooping the jelly of her bust with one finger and sucking it into her mouth. "What about Morelli? I know you two are all lovey dovey one minute and then trying to kill each other the next, but a lot of couples are like that."

Stephanie felt as though she had swallowed a lemon. " _Urgh…No._ He's a jerk. End of story. Diesel said my true love would do _anything_ for me and Morelli wants me to be barefoot and pregnant while I do nothing but cook and clean until the day I die."

"Well that's romantic."

She picked up the files next to the doughnut box and glanced out the window. "Got any gloves on you?"

Stephanie slumped behind the wheel. Lula wafted the file of the FTA they had just handed into police custardy against her, making a cool wave of air.

" _Jeez."_ Lula said. "You gotta cool it. I can see steam coming of you."

"Why did I waste my time with that jerk?! He's so damn cocky!"

Lula looked in the rear view mirror to see Morelli arms folded and grinning.

"Just imagine the shock he'll get when he's not the one took wake you up with true love's kiss."

"He woke me up in other ways far too many times before."

" _Hmmm…_ So what happened? Did he try to charm you out of your panties again?"

"If you want to put it that way, yes. But this time he said I was being too irrational and I needed to consider _his_ needs."

"The asshole."

Hefting a sigh, Stephanie put the car in gear and drove back to the bonds office.

"This is kind of depressing. I'm at risk of being in a coma all because I don't know who'd die for me!"

"Hey what about Ranger? He's saved your ass hundreds of times."

"I haven't heard from him in weeks. Tank said he's been called to South America. I don't think Ranger would die for me anyway."

"What about the time he got shot by that Scrog nut?"

" _His daughter was kidnapped and the nut threatened to shoot her!_ How could you not remember that?!"

"Okay! Okay! There's no need to be snippy!"

Stephanie took a deep breath. "I'm sorry…I really want to punch Morelli."

Lula patted her arm. "Forget about it. This whole thing will be over before you know it and then you won't have to worry about your true love anymore."

" _Great._ " She sighed. "Besides, I don't think Ranger _likes_ me in that way."

"How d'you know that?"

"Because he once said he loved me in _his own way._ "

Lula threw her hands in the air in exasperation. " _Urgh!_ What is it with men?!" She shook her head. "Let's get some lunch. You'll feel better with a full stomach."

They entered the bonds office, carrying 3 Cluck-in-a-Bucket bags full of chicken nuggets, burgers, fries and diet sodas.

Connie looked up at them as they entered. She blinked and cocked her head at Stephanie's sombre expression. "What's with you? You look like the bakery ran out of Boston Creams."

Stephanie looked at Lula.

"Want me to tell her?" Lula asked, getting the message.

" _Please._ "

"Alright then," she said, putting a bag on the reception desk.

"According to Diesel, after we dragged Millicent Spindle-Meyer's ass back to jail the other day, she placed a spell on Stephanie."

"A spell?" Connie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Lula nodded. "You know the story of Sleeping Beauty?"

"I've seen the Disney movie."

"Good, cos if Stephanie pricks her finger on anything pointy, she's gonna fall asleep and if doesn't get kissed by her true love she's gonna starve to death."

Connie stared at her before looking at Stephanie. "Why do these things happen to you?"

"I went to Atlantic City with a Leprechaun." Stephanie shrugged. "Go figure."

"But the real problem is," Lula continued. "Steph doesn't know who her true love is. Don't even ask about Morelli because she would have castrated him if she got the chance while we were at the P.D."

Connie nodded understandingly. "You did say he had been a big jerk lately."

Stephanie grumbled something under her breath before shoving a hand full of fries into her mouth.

"So how long will this spell last on account that you don't prick your finger?"

"I don't know." Stephanie said with a mouthful. She swallowed. "Diesel said he'll talk to Millicent after her court appearance, but I don't think that's going to help with anything. She was pretty mad after I stun gunned her."

 **After cashing in her cheques** , Stephanie went straight back to the office, deciding she had nothing better to do rather than admit the real reason was she was anxious about being alone.

"You should relax," Lula said. "As long as you don't have anything pointy at home, you should be okay."

"Yeah and I can also prevent the spell by curling up on the couch and brooding." Stephanie mumbled.

"Hmmm," Lula grunted. "What did Diesel say your true love would do?"

"In a nutshell, _anything; move the earth; walk to hell and back;_ _ **die**_ _for me._ "

"Okay so it's going to be a little trickier than we thought…"

"Look Steph," Connie said, filing her nails. "You should forget about wondering who your true love is and concentrate on _you._ Just focus on staying away from anything pointy."

Stephanie looked at the floor and thought for a moment before nodding. "You're right, Connie." She looked at Lula. "How about we go to the mall tomorrow so you and I can pick out some leather gloves?"

"I like the sound of that." Lula nodded as Stephanie sat down on the couch. "I know where you can get some real pretty ones with rhinestones and genuine fake diamonds."

"Sounds g- _ow!"_ Stephanie jumped to her feet, holding her middle finger which oozed out a large drop of blood. They all looked at the couch. A jagged spring stuck out of the leather cushion.

Connie and Lula looked at her.

"Oh crap…" Stephanie muttered.

And she collapsed onto the floor.

A full 10 minutes had passed after Lula and Connie had finally overcome the shock of their friend falling unconscious.

"Oh god!" Lula cried. "Lord Almighty! Jesus Christ!"

Connie made the sign of the cross a dozen times whilst taking deep breaths. "Okay…let's not panic…she's not dead…she's just sleeping!"

"What do we do?! What do we do?!"

"I don't know!"

The door opened and Diesel walked in. "Evening ladies."

Both of their hysteria ceased as they looked at him. Lula grabbed him by the front of his shirt. _"What do we do?!"_

Diesel calmly prised her hands of off him, went over to Stephanie. He looked at the spring sticking out of the sofa. " _A spring. A damn spring."_ He sighed shaking his head.

He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and turned to the two woman. "Help me get her home. The least we can do is make sure she's comfy."

A day had passed since the spell had taken affect and all of them were wondering what to do.

All three of them looked down at their sleeping friend who was now dressed in a comfy jersey and a pair of yoga pants. Her feet were bare.

"Spindle-Meyer is still mad." Diesel said. "Her court appearance is next month, but by then it will be too late for Stephanie."

"Why don't we take her to St. Francis?" Connie suggested. "At least there they'll be able to stick a couple of IV lines in her."

"And tell them she's re-enacting Sleeping Beauty?" Diesel shook his head. "I don't trust them to not cut her open or do anything that'll cause her any damage."

"Is there anything we can do to keep her healthy?" Lula asked.

He shrugged sadly. "Keep her clean. Make sure she can breathe easily. Keep her comfortable."

Connie bit her lip as she looked from Diesel to Lula. "Why don't we call Morelli? It's worth a shot, isn't it?"

Diesel sighed through his nose before glancing at Stephanie. "Well, it's better than nothing."

"So let me get this straight…" Morelli said with folded arms. "Stephanie is under a spell which was cast on by that mad woman she brought it in in the other week and, after she pricked her finger, she fell asleep and only… _true love's kiss_ can wake her up?"

"In other words, she's sleeping beauty." Lula said bluntly.

Morelli blinked at her. " _Yeah…_ So you think _I'm_ her true love so I'm the only who can save her?" He sounded smug.

" _Only because we couldn't think of anyone better_." Connie grumbled.

"So all I've got to do is kiss her?"

"Don't get cocky," Diesel frowned. "There's a big difference between love and _lust_."

Morelli ignored him and approached Stephanie's bedside with slight swagger in his step. " _Pucker up, Cupcake."_ He grinned as the others rolled their eyes, not bothering to remind him of her current state.

He loomed over her, lowered his mouth down on to hers, in a less than tender gesture, and pulled away.

Nothing happened.

" _What…"_ Morelli kissed her again- and again, but no matter how many times he squished their lips together, Stephanie remained dead to the world.

"It's not working!" He snapped, straightening up and glowering down at her. He looked at Diesel. "Now what? What's going to happen to her?"

Diesel shook his head. "She's going to starve to death. She'll die in her sleep."

Morelli stared at him. " _Wha- no…There has to be_ something…I… _I_ _ **do**_ _love her…_ _I know we've been on and off again a couple of times…Why didn't the kiss work?_ "

"Face it, Joe." Lula said. "You're _not_ her true love. And I think we all knew that from the start."

"What do you mean?"

She took in a deep breath. "Before Stephanie fell asleep, she was really, _really_ upset with you. She told us that she was fed up with you trying to turn her into a housewife and pop out a dozen kids along with you giving her a hard time about her job."

"And when you say _you love her,"_ Connie added. "all we can see is how many times you have your hand down her pants or try to get her out of them."

"And like I said," Diesel said. "There's a difference between _love_ and _lust._ "

Without a word, Morelli slowly turned his head towards Stephanie with his face clean of emotion.

"Okay," said Connie, scrolling through a webpage on her phone. "It says here, to avoid bed sores we need to turn her on to her side in a recovery position."

Lula nodded. "Do you think we should change her clothes too? It's been 2 days now and I don't like the idea of her smelling or feeling nasty even if she's asleep."

Connie looked at her friend, still in a peaceful slumber. "Yeah, that's a good idea. Do you think she changed her bed sheets recently?"

"No, she hasn't." Diesel answered, walking in. "And don't ask me how I know that."

Both women rolled their eyes. "Go and put her on the couch while we change the bed."

Diesel did as he was told by lifting Stephanie up bridal style and carried her into the living room. Connie and Lula stripped her bed, tossing the used sheets into the corner before putting on a clean bottom sheet, duvet cover and pillow cases.

"You can bring her back in now." Connie called to him as Lula rummaged through Stephanie's chest of drawers.

Diesel laid her back down on the bed. Connie shooed him out the bedroom after Lula picked out an oversized t-shirt and a pair of pyjama shorts.

They finished dressing her and added the jersey shirt and yoga pants to the pile in the corner, allowing Diesel back in to the room as they placed Stephanie into a recovery position.

They watched her silently, not sure of what to make of their friend's fate.

Connie bit her lip as she glanced at Lula, whose eyes were brimming with tears, then turned to Diesel. "What do we do now? What do we tell her family?"

"It usually takes 10 days for a human to die of starvation." Diesel sighed, "We could get someone to attach an IV line to her, but I don't want to risk word getting out which would cause more trouble. I guess all we can do now is pray for a miracle."

 **The afternoon** of the third approached them, but everything remained the same.

All that Connie, Lula and Diesel could was take turns making sure that Stephanie was comfortable by changing her position every few hours so not to develop bed sores or stiffness in her limbs and back.

Connie and Lula had just rolled her on to her back when they heard the front door opening.

They looked at each other before hurrying into the living room where they found Diesel talking to Ranger.

" _Where the hell have you been?!"_ Lula snapped, slowly progressing into _rhino mode_ with her hands on her hips and leaning forward while glaring at Ranger. "Stephanie has been a lot of trouble while you've been gone!"

Ranger stared at her. "Colombia, not that it matters to you." He looked at Diesel. "What were you saying about… _a spinning wheel?_ "

Diesel grimaced. "I'll just cut to chase. Do you know the story of _Sleeping Beauty_?"

"I've seen the Disney movie."

Everyone raised their eyebrows at him.

Ranger let out a patient sigh. "I have a daughter and four sisters _._ "

"Fair enough," Diesel shrugged. "Anyway, Stephanie had a spell placed on her by a witch- _don't be surprised_ \- she pricked her finger and now she's in her bed fast asleep and can only be awakened by _true love's kiss._ And before you ask, _it ain't the cop._ "

"She was already real mad at him before she had the spell cast on her." Lula added. Connie nodded her agreement.

"And," Diesel continued. "If she's not woken up, she'll starve to death."

This caught Ranger's attention as he looked at him and then to the two women. "How long has she been asleep?"

"Three days." Said Connie.

"And Morelli's kiss didn't help?"

They all shook their heads no.

Lula stomped over to him and jabbed a finger towards the bedroom. "So get your ass in there and save her!"

He blinked at her. "What do you expect me to do?"

" _Duh,_ kiss her! Don't deny it, every woman on the planet might throw themselves at you, but we all know there _is_ something between you and Stephanie that weren't there between her and Morelli." She took in a deep breath and straightened her back. "She told me you told her that you _loved her in your own way_ , but that's still love God dammit!"

"And you think that I'm her… _true love_ because of that?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why else would you save her and be at her side the minute you know she's in trouble. _What brought you to her apartment anyway?_ Are you just going to spend your time here in _denial land_ and let her die?"

Ranger stared at her for several moments before marching into the bedroom.

Everyone followed him to Stephanie's bedside, noticing how his shoulders tensed at the sight of her.

The mattress dipped from his weight as he knelt over her on one knee. He lowered his face down to hers. They heard him whisper in her ear.

" _Don't leave me…"_

Ranger pressed his lips to Stephanie's, holding her there for an incredibly long moment before pulling away.

A heartbeat had passed. Everyone held their breath, praying for their friend to not be victim to such a fate.

But, as the seconds passed like hours, the little hope they had left began to fade.

A breath left Stephanie's lips.

Her eyes fluttered open and locked with the brown pair gazing down at her. A grin brightened her face.

" _I knew it was you…_ " She whispered, encircling her arms around his neck as he pulled her into a tight embrace.

Tears of relief trailed down Connie and Lula's cheeks, both beaming as they watched the happy couple.

Diesel leant against the wall, his arms folded and a grin on his face.

" _And they all lived happily ever after."_


End file.
